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It has been many moons since I’ve felt so fundamentally betrayed by a movie as I did by The Gift. If fiction is all about making promises to your audience and following up on them, The Gift is a failure of this on a basic level. The movie promises that there will be A gift. It’s right there in the title. But this turns out to be pure poppycock. There’s all kinds of gifts in this movie. Housewarming gifts. Apology gifts. Thank you gifts. Baby shower gifts. Which one is THE gift? I don’t know! This is the biggest lie in a movie since it turned out that there wasn’t one Jet Li in The One, but that there were two. And there had been more and more Jet Li’s but one of the Jet Li’s kept killing the others in an act of self-loathing that would make Rick from Rick and Morty blush.

I feel like I’m forgetting something…oh yeah! BTDubs there aren’t any bears in this movie.

Grade: Zero/Five Bears

Written by Daniel Mizell