Note: The following contains spoilers, but it does not contain bears.

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Can you blame a 1920s German Expressionism film for not having a bear in it? The answer to that riddle is yes and I will, because for all of the twisted geometry and painted streaks of light, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is lacking in the one most underrated horror elements in all of cinema. Had the Germans been more conscious of the innate ability of bears to terrify, we could have had as many bear movies as we do Blair Witch Project rip-offs. But would oversaturation be good for the bears? Is a single REC worth one thousand Lazarus Effects? I pray for the day when bears are common enough in cinema to have their own subcategory of terrible movies. But today is not that day.

Grade: Zero/Five Bears

Written by Daniel Mizell