Note: The following contains spoilers.

Friday the 13th Part III 25

Ugh.

I’ve been dreading rewatching this one. It’s been a while since I’ve seen the first four Friday the 13th movies, but if there’s one thing I remember clear as day from when I first watched them, it’s that while I was watching Part 3 I kept saying to myself ,“This is terrible.” I wondered if I was just a young, dumb person and that I would rewatch Part 3 with a newfound appreciation for it, but it may have actually been worse the second time around.

Let’s start with the 3D. We might complain about poor 3D when we go see movies today, but at least you can watch modern movies without an extra dimension and still enjoy them. With Friday the 13th Part 3, the fact that it was in 3D gets constantly shoved in your face (no pun intended). There are so many shots where something is awkwardly placed super close to the camera, just so that back in the 80s an audience would go “Whooaaaaaaaa!” because something popped out of the screen. But now? It’s just jarring and awkward, and since none of us are ever going to see this movie in 3D ever again, the movie carries almost literal scars of a gimmicky way of getting people into the theater thirty years ago.

Now let’s get to the ending. I said that I had seen this movie before, but I didn’t really remember the ending at all. When Chris got into the canoe and fell asleep, I jokingly said “And then Mrs. Voorhees pops out of the lake and drags her down!” I laughed when I turned out to be right. It’s bad enough that this scare is not an eighth as effective as the original movie’s final scare (Zombie Mommy looks more like a rigid puppet than anything terrifying), so let’s dig into the logic of this. Chris has no idea who Jason is, ergo, she has no idea who Pamela Voorhees is. So if this is a hallucination, it doesn’t make sense. And if it’s real? Then Mrs. Voorhees is a zombie a la her son now? This ending is just awful and I can’t make heads or tails of it.

Written by Daniel Mizell