SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS HERE

The most important thing is the castle: Keanu Reeves, Michael Nikwist.

Warden: Chad Stahelsky

Contracts have been signed, technology is involved and staff are recruited. So now I can tell the world about my latest and perhaps greatest entertainment project.  The introduction of VickiTube, a new streaming service that will bring quality entertainment to American living rooms and provide a safe, socially distributed, but absolutely entertaining pastime.  We’re planning a series of Vicky Lester-approved films selected from the best public repositories, a series of original screenings featuring some of Hollywood’s top talents, and a daily news cafe with your real face, where my guests and I will weigh up the big issues of the day and solve modern problems in less than an hour.  All this and much more for a very low price of only $7.99 per month.

John Wick – 2014 Starring Keanu Reeves

Of course, many of our designed series will depend on the achievement of certain goals by subscriber numbers, so if you want to see records with a star like Wiki Lester’s Great Bakery Show, MNM : Tiger Queen, Mimehunter and Orange is the new tap dance. All my favorite readers should sign up and encourage their friends and family to do the same.  We have enough risk capital in the bank for the first six weeks or so and then we’ll see what happens.  I leave everything to people with money.  I stay on the artistic side of things and make sure that every mention in our magazine meets my strict criteria.  Our first offer is a home shopping program with Leah, the head of my consumer products department.  It cultivates the remnants of my recent decline in property sales into some fine properties that could be yours for three simple payments of $19.95 plus shipping if you call now.  The scarves from my Dance of the Seven Veils when I played Salome in Hi, Solly! and my dolls from the MNM collection are definitely for sale as hotcakes.  I’m not sure of a monogram of garden tools.  My initials in relief kept falling off the knives during the backyard test.

To celebrate, I decided it was time to make a movie, so I fixed a bottle of 15-year-old Laphroaig single malt and brought a great stripper to the home theater to enjoy the movie.  I flipped through the DVDs in my pile and came across John Vick, the 2014 Keanu Reeves film.  When I heard about the success of the film and the generation of a few sequels, but had only a vague idea what it was about, I threw it in the car to watch it.  I’ve always been a Keanu Reeves fan in the right role:  All it takes is that he is handsome, moves like a panther and never opens his mouth to engage in a convincing dialogue. Luckily, John Wick was one of those movies.  I didn’t expect much, but in the end I really enjoyed it.

Keanu plays John Vick, a retired Russian mafioso, so deadly and frightening that he knows his compatriots as the boogeyman.  At the opening of the film he retired with his beautiful wife Helen (Bridget Moynaan), who suffers from an incurable Hollywood disease.  She dies quickly and leaves John with a broken heart, his former companion and the puppy she gave him to keep him company after he is gone.  Unfortunately the car caught the attention of the Russian mafioso Joseph Tarasov (Alfie Allen of Game of Thrones).  He and his men decide to steal it from John and kill the poor dog in a robbery.  John sprinkles the killer’s weapons in a fit of rage and seeks revenge.  Joseph Viggo’s father (Michael Nicvist), who knows exactly who John is and why he’s so dangerous, throws himself into the fight to protect his son, resulting in ninety minutes of judo, jiu-jitsu, battle with weapons and advanced storytelling, but the goal of such a film is that the audience takes the side of the antihero and encourages him when he has methodically deceived and destroyed his enemies.

While John Wick’s conspiracy is a bald bone, it is decorated with a host of features that help take the film to the next level.  My favorite hotel is the Hotel Continental, a kind of luxury hotel in the old world, that serves the international trade with assassins and where several unscrupulous assassins can rest between two missions in a kind of Switzerland, as a neutral state where the fighting is on the doorstep and where the rules imposed by Winston (Ian McShane) are mysterious but strong.  There’s also some pretty little sidekicks, the killer of women with the incredible name of madam. Perkins (Adrianna Palicki), who goes well with Keanu in love and war, and the reptile Avi (Dean Winters), Viggo’s right hand and lawyer, a character who finds the thread in every little dialogue.

John Wick – 2014 Starring Keanu Reeves

Writer Derek Colstad and director Chad Stahelsky approach the subject through a mythopaedic lens and realize that their antihero is bigger than life.  It’s a decision that wouldn’t work without the right leadership, but Keanu in his element.  Mr. Reeves, who had been known since the 80s when he played stupid teenagers, really came into his element a few years later with the action thriller Speed.  In this film and in the Matrix he could really develop as an actor, who could only climb the trophies of the action film with his eyes and his physicality.  These films didn’t need much dialogue (his weak point) and allowed his presence, which he did miraculously, and he continues to fascinate John Wick.  Keanu can tell more about his character by simply walking around the room than most actors can with a two-page monologue.  He was fifty years old when this film was made.  Old enough to offer us a tired retirement atmosphere and young enough to convince us to do our own martial arts tricks.

Normally I don’t like international killer movies (with the possible exception of some of the best James Bond movies), but I liked John Wick enough to look for sequels.  There are two in the bank and two more are planned for the future.  She should keep Kiana off the streets for a few years.

Killing a puppy.  Floors filled with a sledgehammer. The lovely John Leguziano.  Burning money. Escape trick. Twelve dead killers. Russian bath. Machine versus helicopter. Stabbed in the neck.

To find out more about Mrs Norman Maine, read our introduction, visit her full catalogue and follow her on Twitter at https://twitter.com/missvickilester.

Photo by Maribel Le Peipes (CC 4.0)

John Wick – 2014 Starring Keanu Reeves

Mrs. Norman Maine, originally from Seattle Washington, a land of fog, coffee and flying salmon, was born as an adult, like Athena, from Andy’s mind at a difficult time in his life, shortly after moving to Alabama.

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